362 | How to IGNITE Her

I truly believe that to create results that we want to have in our life takes radical responsibility. It is on us to make it happen. Honestly, it's more about letting it happen, allowing it to happen, more than it is making it happen. We use the two words, IGNITE Her, in our company. It is the essence of our brand. It is the essence of our mission. It is what happens to clients that come into our world and work with us. Those two words capture it all. They IGNITE their true self. They IGNITE who they really are and how they really want to live life. I really want to use my own story with you to help show you what the process of IGNITING Her is really all about.

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We're never done IGNITING Her. Her is our highest self. It is our soul. It is who we really truly are in our core, in our essence, in who we were when we came into this physical body as a soul before all of the societal and childhood paradigms and belief systems were introduced to us. We are these incredible, unique, amazing souls. We just have to remember who we are. In remembering who we are, we become Her. I'm going to talk to you about how this process unfolds at the highest level, and then I'm going to share my story to help you.

The Awakening:

What first happens is that we have an awakening. We say that we awake Her, but in reality, she's awakening us. We go through this moment or this period of time, and often it can happen for people in their late thirties into their forties, where they start to have this awakening. They start to feel that there is more. That, this can't just be what life is all about or that this is how my life actually is. There's something missing. There's a need for more.

Design Her

After the awakening, we start to actually design what we really want. This is the pursuit. We might have been living by default, living by a lot of shoulds, or living by how we thought we were supposed to and how we were conditioned to. Then after  we get this awakening, we think, “Wait a minute, I can actually live by design? I can actually choose how I want certain things to be in my life? Amazing.” Then, we start to design Her. We start to design the life that we desire.

In that process, we truly see what we actually want. But, because we cannot outperform our paradigms, we cannot outperform our conditioning and where our programming is at, we actually have to really get into the inner work to IGNITE Her. And when we IGNITE Her, we're actually igniting our soul at more of a cellular level. Where literally who you are being evolves. This shift for me, and every time it happens and continues to happen, it is like I'm seeing the world with more clarity, more living color, more peace, more joy, more happiness because of this work. So, we work to IGNITE Her.

IGNITE Her

Then, we have to practice embodying Her. We need to embody this version of ourself that's always been there. In this process we're reconditioning ourselves. We're stripping out all of the  old paradigms, all of the shoulds and the belief systems that have been holding us back. It’s then that we start to embody Her. When we embody Her, we are taking action like Her. We are out in the world, out in our relationships, out in building our businesses, out working with clients and in friendships. That's ultimately how we become Her. 

I will tell you that I don't think we ever become Her. We're humans, and we are these beautiful souls and energetic spirits that are living in these bodies, but they are human bodies. We're going to have the human experience, which means we are on the path of continuous growth, observing, being that compassionate scientist, and continuing to work to grow into the Her that we really are. So, that's the process at the highest, highest level.

Sharing My Journey

I think sharing my journey can help bring this into more of a reality for you. What do I actually mean when I say, “Awake Her, and then design Her, and then IGNITE Her?” Those are cute terms, but what do we mean by that? So let me use my own cycle of this to share.

My Awakening

For 20 years in corporate, I began to get the pull that this wasn't where I was supposed to be. I wasn't supposed to be in this job, this career. It wasn't the right fit for me. That was my soul at the cellular level telling me I was not in the right place. But my paradigms were so deep, my belief system so deep, that I could not see that there was another possibility. I was also a victim. I had a victim thinking, that I was trapped and I was stuck, and all these reasons why I felt I couldn't leave that job or I couldn't go out and start my own thing. Which none of them were true. They were just stories and beliefs and conditioning.

When I finally started to awaken, that urge for purpose and the urge for freedom was so loud in my body that I couldn't ignore it any longer. That is when I made the leap and left corporate for entrepreneurship. So I was starting to awaken Her.

You Cannot Outperform Your Self Image

Then, I moved into that next phase of really trying to IGNITE Her. To IGNITE this version of Julie that was an entrepreneur. I struggled for two years trying to do this. I could not break through and create consistent revenue month to month in my business that would allow me not to have to go back to corporate. It was really, really hard. But I was persistent to my commitment. Notice that. I was persistent in my commitment to where I was trying to go in being Her, in really being this version of Julie that was an entrepreneur. Knowing in my soul that that's what I wanted to do. So, for two years, not achieving the money results that I wanted to, this is when the flip side of really understanding that I needed to do much deeper inner work.

Because here's the truth. You cannot outperform your inner belief system. You cannot outperform your inner world. Your outer world, your results, your relationships, your business will always, always be a reflection of where you are on the inside. I was not at a place yet on the inside that I saw myself as being a successful entrepreneur. I had so much work to do. This is when I started to get the understanding, not the knowing yet, just the understanding, that I needed to work on my identity. I needed to really start to do this inner work. When I started to do that, that's when I had the next business breakthrough because, again, my inner world began to change and then my outer world changed with it. It cannot go the other way.

From there, the funny thing is I then hit another plateau. It's kind of like you hit this period of growth either in a relationship or in your business, whatever you're working on, you hit this growth, and then you level off. You plateau to exactly where you are in your inner world at that time. Then, to get to the next level, the next breakthrough, you need to work on that inner world to be a match for where you want to go in the results. I promise you, I have been living this. I wish there was a different way and it was easier to just keep climbing without the inner growth, but it just doesn't work like that.

How Do You Grow?

After hitting yet another plateau, that's when I got introduced to the fact that I had deep-rooted limiting beliefs that I couldn't even see myself. We all do. We all have very deep limiting stories, beliefs, and paradigms. You can call them lots of different things. They prevent us from getting to the next level of growth. That growth, just being really clear, could be growth in your business, growth with money, growth with a relationship, growth with your health and wellness. It doesn't matter what the result is, the process is exactly the same.

In this time of hitting a plateau of how was I going to take the business from multiple six-figures into the million dollar mark is when I started to learn about the Enneagram. I understood that I needed to work with coaches that were going to help me see my blind spots, help me to see limiting paradigms, and things that I could not see. That helped me get into my next level of growth. What it also did was it actually opened my eyes that my clients needed the same thing.

We took the Enneagram and we took my mentor, Bob Proctor's teachings, into our community to help our clients. My entire business transformed because we brought in both the inner work in a way that made sense and combined it with how to start, grow and scale a business. So, of course, then my business grew from there because I was helping more of our clients get results through introducing them to tools like the Enneagram, and teaching from a mindset and paradigm shifting standpoint.

The Power of the NOW Goal

But lo and behold, I'm right back at another plateau. For the last year, I've been working to have the next business growth breakthrough, and quite frankly, a breakthrough in my relationship in my marriage. We teach in our community to have what we call a NOW Goal. A NOW Goal is this beautiful goal that seems impossible, but it's something that you truly, truly desire. You don't know how it's going to play out, but you're committed and you are persistent to being committed until it happens, which is why we don't put dates on our NOW Goals. That's just our philosophy. 

So many of my clients, including myself, have two NOW Goals. One is usually around career,  business or finances. Then, the other one is typically around something to do with either a relationship or health and wellness goal. For me, because I'm always transparent, my one goal for my business is I am so happy and grateful now that my business is making $3 million a year, which is like $250,000 a month, so I've got that goal that's out there that I am, again, needing to do the inner work to get there for certain, and I'll talk about that in a minute. My other NOW Goal that I have has been, I am so happy and grateful now that I love my husband unconditionally. That has been on my goal card since January of 2022. This blog post is being written in March 2023. So, when I talk about being persistent in the commitment towards a very important goal, trust me, you've got to stay the course. Here's the thing about relationships. It's a one person job. If you're not sure what I mean by that, you struggle with that at all, you need to come into the IGNITE Her Society and get some of our trainings.

We actually have a new basics bundle. We call it the IGNITE Her Basics Bundle, so that you can start doing some of this work. Because fundamentally, any result that you want in your life is 100% your responsibility. We must take full accountability and responsibility for all the results we have in our life.

Your Life's Work

IGNITING Her, having a designed life, designing on purpose results that you want, and then creating NOW Goals around them, and then doing the inner work to get there, is your life's work. If you're not happy, if there's something you don't want in your life right now, if there's something you really do want in your life right now, when I say that is up to you, it truly, truly is.

And we're never done because the next thing that we want, we're going to have to evolve and embody the next version of Her to get there. The coolest part, and I have the chills all through my body as I share this, your Her is unique to you. The more I get to uncover my Her, my real me, I'm like, “Oh my God.” I want to hug her. Instead of covering things up and living in victimhood and shame and desire of not having what I want and all those things, it is the most beautiful evolution that I can't want it for you more than you want it for you. Just like every coach I've ever worked with can't want it for me more than I want it for me. 

What changes, what gets illuminated, the peace, the joy, the love, the compassion, the possibilities that open up when you decide to take full responsibility and then do the inner work. It's magical. The only word I can think to talk about here is magic. It's magic that you can do.

Start Your Journey to IGNITE Her

Where I want to leave you is here. If you're not a current client of ours, I would highly recommend that you do the IGNITE Her Basics Bundle.

The IGNITE Her Basics Bundle is our core self-study program called BEcoming Her is the Secret, because it's the secret to creating what you want in life. Also included in there is a self-coaching series to help you start to take what you learn in BEcoming Her is the Secret and start to practice it and to self-coach yourself on that journey. We have a cool special going on right now that when you actually purchase the IGNITE Her Basics Bundle, that you also are going to get a free NOW Goal Journal. It's just a perfect compliment to the work that you're going to do in BEcoming Her is the Secret and in the self-coaching series because this becomes a practice. This inner work is a true practice of shifting who you are being. And when you shift who you're being, your results change. Guaranteed.

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I feel this calling to really share how much your life changes when you do this work. The ripple effect that it can have on those that you care about the most is life-altering and priceless. That is what we hear from our clients all the time. My marriage has been saved. I'm not yelling at my kids anymore. I have a closeness with my kids that I had never had before. I have had these new epiphanies about what I want my business to be or where I want my career to go, and all of these other things. They're just happier. They're more at peace, have more joy, and have more freedom. Through self-acceptance that your results are your responsibility comes a huge freedom because it means you can change it. And it's beautiful.