364 | The Keys to New Results in Your Life

I'm sharing the keys to unlock the results that you want in your life. Whether that is to have a business that creates income and freedom to leave the day job, a marriage that you’ve always dreamed of having, an improved relationship with your children or another family member, health & fitness result, or maybe it’s just to be happier in general. Some of us just want to be happier in our day-to-day lives. What I'm going to share with you today holds the keys. 

It's interesting because it's not sexy. It's not a get rich, get fit, get love quick scheme. It's the real work of life. It's the hard work, but the most rewarding work you'll ever do. The crazy thing is, we've never been taught it ever. I'm going to share it with you today, and I would love for you to share this with people that you love because again, we're not taught this in school. We're not taught this for the most part, even in our upbringing. It's not something that is discussed enough, yet it's the key to achieving what you want, having what you want, and being what you want in this lifetime. I think that part of what I'm going to share with you might fly in the face of some of our society norms right now, where being a victim to other people, a victim to circumstances, a victim to just the way things are, is almost normal. But in reality, it's the number one thing holding us back.

Listen to the Corresponding Podcast Episode:

Here's the Punchline

The secret to unlocking anything that you desire in this lifetime is how you see you. It is the factory settings inside of you that need to be changed. Again, this is not easy work at all, but I promise you it's the most rewarding work you can ever do. What do we mean by inner work? What do we mean about how you see you? When I was studying with Bob Proctor, he introduced me to a book called Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. This book is all about how inside of your own mind, inside of your own being, you have a cybernetic mechanism, which really resets you back to patterns and results that you've always gotten.

Let's Unpack What This Means

The best examples of a cybernetic mechanism are a thermostat in your house or the automatic pilot system inside of a plane. It is a setting that no matter what is done, goes back to what it was set to.

Let’s say your house thermostat is set to 72 degrees. If someone opens the door and the cold winter air is coming in, that thermostat is going to trigger the furnace to get the heat back up until the room hits 72 degrees again. That is a cybernetic mechanism where it is a setting that no matter what is done, the goal is to get back to that setting. Same is true for an airplane that is in autopilot mode. 

The interesting thing is, we humans have the same type of mechanism inside of us. The way that these get set is it's programmed in there from all of our past experiences and our upbringing. Things that we have seen and experienced in our life really sets those limits, those settings. No matter what we do, we tend to relive the patterns that create the same results over and over again. It's why most people that you know, not much is going to change in their money, lovelife or happiness after a certain age. Why is that? Because people kind of go into this autopilot mode. They go into having these settings that are just preprogrammed, and they continue to live those results out in their life. They're just patterns.

Here's the Cool Thing

You can change the patterns. This is the key! People don't know that it's these patterns that are keeping them stuck. What is a pattern? A pattern, in my mind, and the way I like to look at it, is a loop. Thoughts, feelings, and actions that are set in this automatic loop where you're not even consciously aware of it, and you just continue to think the same things, feel the same way, take the same actions or inactions, and get the same results in your life over and over and over again. If you really look, you will see that this is exactly how things play out. Whether it's in your relationships or in your money or in your career or business, we just keep reliving these patterns.

We relive these patterns and we get the same results over and over again. We don't realize that the only way to change the results that we currently have is to change our patterns. Our patterns of thinking and feeling, our patterns of action. That's what changes it.

Now, interestingly enough, everyone gets that their actions need to change. When someone wants to lose weight, they want to change their actions and their behavior. They go to look for what to eat, what's the best diet, what's the best fitness program. What they're missing is, it's not just the actions that need to change, it's the being. It's your thinking. It's your feeling. If you think about it, I don't know any diets that go into the thinking and the feeling and changing those patterns. They just try to target your behavior, which is the number one reason why it doesn't work most of the time.

The same thing is true for money. You could decide one day, “All right, enough is enough. I want to break this pattern around money.” Either you never have enough or you can only make so much, you're overspending, or whatever it may be. You decide you're going to change that. So, you listen to a podcast and you hear about this program that's going to teach you how to actually start saving money. You opt in for the program, but it doesn’t work. Why? Because again, you went to the action, to the behavior. Tell me what I need to do to save money. However, the real question is, “What do I need to be thinking and feeling to save money? Who do I need to be to save money?” That doesn't happen. We all go to the actions, to the behavior, and never to the core root that's causing the problems to begin with, which is who we're being.

Our thought patterns are feeling patterns, which that's what spawns the action patterns. That is why the diet industry is a huge industry, because people bounce from action to action, diet to diet, behavior to behavior, never actually getting to the root cause, which is the thinking and feeling patterns. Who you're being.

Another Example

People that feel overwhelmed and feel out of control and just want to feel like they're more organized. They think that if they're more organized, they'll be more productive, and so they set out to find the perfect planner. If they could just find the perfect planner and a time management system, using that planner, all their problems will be solved. This may or may not have been me in the past. This may be you. And what happens? You get the planner, you listen to the time management system, and then you try to take those actions and use the planner. You try to get your behavior in alignment with using the planner and doing what the time management strategies were.

Then, not long after that, you reset back and you're still feeling unorganized and disheveled and feeling unproductive and overwhelmed. How? You just got the perfect planner and the perfect time management system. Well, it's just like any diet, any money management system, or any business out there. It's not about the behavior and the action. Yes, we want to learn how to save money and we want to learn how to eat to lose weight and we want to do all this learning of how to manage time, but it is who you're being that's causing the problem in the first place. 

If you don't have the kind of money that you want, it's who you're being. If you are having a hard time managing your time, that's who you're being. You're being the kind of person that's struggling with money. You're being the kind of person who struggles with time. If you have relationship patterns, you're being the type of person that has a particular recurring pattern in relationships.

Go to the Root Cause

The crazy part here is that it's so obvious once we say it, but no one teaches us this. If anything, we're just taught to change our behavior. We're taught to find the steps and the plan and the how-to to create the results that we want. Those things are important, but we have to go to the root cause. To the being. The being that got us into that situation to begin with. We have to change our patterns of thinking and our patterns of feeling. That then creates a shift and change in our behavior, which then creates the results that we want. This is not an easy task, but it is the way to create what you want. 

If you want more money, if you want more freedom, if you want better relationships, if you want to be happier, this is how. This is when they say the inner work, this is what the inner work is. We're working on your thoughts and feelings that are in a cybernetic fashion.

How to Create Real Change

When I say money, there is a thought and feeling that goes through your body. That is an automatic response to the word money. You could have an automatic response when you think of a certain person. You can have an automatic thought and feeling when you think about food, about anything. The good news is that you can change it, but it does require this awareness, this responsibility, this acceptance, and then the perseverance to focus on doing the work required to make these changes at the being level. At the thoughts and feelings on loop pattern level. That's how you create real change. That is how you create the results you want in your life. 

It is why one of the things that I created to help all of our clients, no matter where they come in to work with us, they are all required to take our foundational course, BEcoming Her is the Secret.

BEcoming Her is the Secret is our foundational course that everyone takes that comes into our programs because I cannot teach them how to do the marketing, how to start their business, how to be happier, how to have better relationships. I can't do any of those things without them deciding and learning that it's their being that's actually the root cause, and then learning how to take steps to work on BEing Her, the version of themself that has the results that they want. That's the secret. That's what we teach. That is the baseline of our programs and what we teach, because it's the truth of how life works.

We cannot outperform our inner world. Our money, our love, our weight, our fitness, our well-being, our happiness cannot outperform our inside state. The good news is, our inside state can be changed, and it starts with self-responsibility, self-acceptance, and self-accountability. 

If you are willing to go there, then we want you to come be part of our community to help it make it a reality. We even created the IGNITE Her Basics Bundle. That is BEcoming Her is the Secret, that foundational course, plus a self-coaching course, so that you can start to do this work. Because if you can take radical responsibility and accountability for the results that you have and the results you'd want, that's the first step to making your dreams a reality. I promise you. 

Click here to check out the IGNITE Her Basics Bundle!

The thing I want you to really walk away with from this blog post and you go do whatever you're going to do next in your day, really take the time to look in the mirror. I want you to think about something that you really want to be different in your life. You know what that is. I want you to look in the mirror and I want you to say, “There's no one responsible for that result other than me. And there's no one responsible for a different result other than me.” By choosing that radical responsibility, you start to open the door to actually creating the results that you want in your life. That, my friend, is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

With that said, if you're ready to actually start taking that radical responsibility, you want the keys to the kingdom, and you're ready to do the work required, you want to do BEcoming Her is the Secret, our foundational course. 

Get started here! 

We are here to welcome you into our community of women who are accepting full responsibility, full accountability, and actually creating amazing results in their lives. We'll see you on the inside.

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Julie Ciardi Avatar

I’m Julie Ciardi!

I am a former Fortune 50 executive (20 years in the corporate world!) and I finally answered my soul’s calling and started my own business in 2017. I am a mom of 3 and married to a retired first responder. I am on a mission to help women create income aligned with their life’s work. I would love to help YOU.

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